The singing dog

We first noticed that our dog liked to sing when we were having a birthday party and she joined along in the song. Since then, whenever someone sings in the house, she does too.

Today we were driving to get our Christmas tree at a farm and we started singing Christmas carols in the car, and so did the dog. She loves to sing and I truly think she believes she is a child. She sure acts like one.

I'm a kept man...but not how you think...

I hate my cat... and I think she's mental.

Every morning this skinny creature invades my sleep. This morning (Saturday) she woke me up at five with her incessent high pitched 'meeew, meew,' right in my ear.

We have this pattern you see. I get up at six and she yells at me and bugs me until I go feed her. Then, I get to her bowl and she always has food. She just wants me to pet her as she eats. When I leave in disgust, she jumps down and starts the process all over again. This is why I'm a kept man.

Readers are probably wondering why I don't leave her in a field (my wife's suggestion) somewhere. I would except I couldn't handle the guilt of abandoning this helpless little crazy being, and enduring the tears of my little girl, who loves her.

So, I go on each morning, following this insane routine.

I have to confess something though. This morning I chased her around the room violently whispering obsenities in the dark and trying to kick her. Will let you know how this turns out.