I hate my cat... and I think she's mental.
Every morning this skinny creature invades my sleep. This morning (Saturday) she woke me up at five with her incessent high pitched 'meeew, meew,' right in my ear.
We have this pattern you see. I get up at six and she yells at me and bugs me until I go feed her. Then, I get to her bowl and she always has food. She just wants me to pet her as she eats. When I leave in disgust, she jumps down and starts the process all over again. This is why I'm a kept man.
Readers are probably wondering why I don't leave her in a field (my wife's suggestion) somewhere. I would except I couldn't handle the guilt of abandoning this helpless little crazy being, and enduring the tears of my little girl, who loves her.
So, I go on each morning, following this insane routine.
I have to confess something though. This morning I chased her around the room violently whispering obsenities in the dark and trying to kick her. Will let you know how this turns out.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Off the charts!
Marcus is off the charts. We're dealing with a child who has an adult sense of humor, uses large words correctly in conversations, can play chess, and is beginning to read. In addition to all of that, he's a couple grades ahead in math. What's amazing about all of this is that he's only 5, and he's been this way in many respects, since he was 2. The kid counts by tens. He can add and subtract. He counts higher than any kid in his class and knows about money denominations etc. Jen and I are just amazed and wondering where he came from.
Tonight while I was getting him down to sleep he said, "You know what, Dad?"
"No. What?"
"Knowing yourself is more important than money."
"Really. Where did you hear that?"
"Nowhere. I just thought it."
"Interesting. Tell me what that means. Why is it more important to know yourself?"
"Well, you can die, and money is just for buying things."
"Yes, so your life is more important because you can love and have fun and do things, but money doesn't buy you happiness?"
"Hmm mmm."
"Very cool, Marcus. Have a good sleep, buddy."
On the other side of things, Jen and I are a little concerned about OCD in him. He exhibits some ritual behavior. He's going through a lot right now, and is pretty advanced for his age. It's hard for him to fit in with his peers too. Jen saw him at school playing on the swings by himself recently. She asked him why he wasn't playing with his friends. "They were playing tag. I don't get that game." He also has a lot of fears right now. He's going through a huge growth spurt and Jen and I are just trying to be there to support him. Having a gifted kid is going to bring its challenges, to be sure.
Tonight while I was getting him down to sleep he said, "You know what, Dad?"
"No. What?"
"Knowing yourself is more important than money."
"Really. Where did you hear that?"
"Nowhere. I just thought it."
"Interesting. Tell me what that means. Why is it more important to know yourself?"
"Well, you can die, and money is just for buying things."
"Yes, so your life is more important because you can love and have fun and do things, but money doesn't buy you happiness?"
"Hmm mmm."
"Very cool, Marcus. Have a good sleep, buddy."
On the other side of things, Jen and I are a little concerned about OCD in him. He exhibits some ritual behavior. He's going through a lot right now, and is pretty advanced for his age. It's hard for him to fit in with his peers too. Jen saw him at school playing on the swings by himself recently. She asked him why he wasn't playing with his friends. "They were playing tag. I don't get that game." He also has a lot of fears right now. He's going through a huge growth spurt and Jen and I are just trying to be there to support him. Having a gifted kid is going to bring its challenges, to be sure.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
What kids say
Nate got his first zit today....Named it alfred.
Marcus created a new word: Shastabollista. It's apparently a projectile, like an arrow being shot out of a cannon or something.
Liese lost two teeth this week. The first one fell down the drain and was lost. She wrote a note to the tooth fairy explaining the situation. She still got two dollars.
The kids captured a hornet today. Named him Harold. They plan to kill him tomorrow. The offending bee is guilty of ... well, being a scary...bee. The sentence is death.
Marcus created a new word: Shastabollista. It's apparently a projectile, like an arrow being shot out of a cannon or something.
Liese lost two teeth this week. The first one fell down the drain and was lost. She wrote a note to the tooth fairy explaining the situation. She still got two dollars.
The kids captured a hornet today. Named him Harold. They plan to kill him tomorrow. The offending bee is guilty of ... well, being a scary...bee. The sentence is death.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Bunny Concern #1
"Daddy?"
"What's up, sweetie?"
"I'm worried about Mr. Fluffball."
"What's wrong?" (I'm suddenly concerned that our new purchase of one day is sick, or worse...dead? Imagine saving for a bunny for 6 months, getting your dream animal and then having it die on you after one day?)
"He's pooping a lot and I'm worried about him."
"Oh honey," I say with a smile, "let me tell you about bunnies..."
"What's up, sweetie?"
"I'm worried about Mr. Fluffball."
"What's wrong?" (I'm suddenly concerned that our new purchase of one day is sick, or worse...dead? Imagine saving for a bunny for 6 months, getting your dream animal and then having it die on you after one day?)
"He's pooping a lot and I'm worried about him."
"Oh honey," I say with a smile, "let me tell you about bunnies..."
Welcome Mr. Fluffball!
Mr. Fluffball is a rabbitt, and a new addition to our family.
I fought the whole thing for a long time. But Liese saved her money to buy a cage. Then, she had enough money for the rabbitt.
The last thing I wanted was a rabbitt running around the house. We already have a wild dog and two cats - one of which thinks he owns the place. Now, a bunny???
But when Mr. Fluffball came home, and I saw the joy in my daughter's eyes, I realized that I was mistaken. This little friend is just what my daughter needs. So, welcome to the family, Mr. Fluffball!
I fought the whole thing for a long time. But Liese saved her money to buy a cage. Then, she had enough money for the rabbitt.
The last thing I wanted was a rabbitt running around the house. We already have a wild dog and two cats - one of which thinks he owns the place. Now, a bunny???
But when Mr. Fluffball came home, and I saw the joy in my daughter's eyes, I realized that I was mistaken. This little friend is just what my daughter needs. So, welcome to the family, Mr. Fluffball!
When the Schneken Beckin's
We have this thing. Okay, I have this thing, that whenever I go grocery shopping I always treat myself to something sweet - a schneken. So, which ever one of my children are with me also benefit.
Yesterday, Marcus was the lucky child. As I was picking out fruit and veggies, he was thinking about all the different kinds of donuts or cookies he could get. After I narrowed it down for him, "We're going to get a cookie." (Because those are free to kids), Marcus decided it would be an M&M cookie.
I said, "Well, we'll see. It depends on what kind they have."
Sure enough, when I went over to the cookie platter, they had two with M&M's. I chose the one on the top and gave it to him. "Look," I said. "Just what you wanted!"
Marcus looked at it - his little face, evidently not pleased. "It doesn't have a lot of M&M's."
"Well, no, but that's the one you got, so you should be happy."
He came around enjoyed his first bite. After two more little bites it crumbled and fell onto the floor. I picked it up and blew on it (5 sec rule), but then I looked at the floor. Pretty disgusting.
"Hey, let's go back and ask for another one."
I explained to the lady that the cookie fell and she said, by all means, grab another.
I looked and saw that one cookie with M&M's remained. It was loaded with M&M's! So, Marcus got his wish. Sometimes, things just work out the way you want them. (Anyone who's read The Secret and knows about the Law of Attraction, might suggest this was more than luck.)
Yesterday, Marcus was the lucky child. As I was picking out fruit and veggies, he was thinking about all the different kinds of donuts or cookies he could get. After I narrowed it down for him, "We're going to get a cookie." (Because those are free to kids), Marcus decided it would be an M&M cookie.
I said, "Well, we'll see. It depends on what kind they have."
Sure enough, when I went over to the cookie platter, they had two with M&M's. I chose the one on the top and gave it to him. "Look," I said. "Just what you wanted!"
Marcus looked at it - his little face, evidently not pleased. "It doesn't have a lot of M&M's."
"Well, no, but that's the one you got, so you should be happy."
He came around enjoyed his first bite. After two more little bites it crumbled and fell onto the floor. I picked it up and blew on it (5 sec rule), but then I looked at the floor. Pretty disgusting.
"Hey, let's go back and ask for another one."
I explained to the lady that the cookie fell and she said, by all means, grab another.
I looked and saw that one cookie with M&M's remained. It was loaded with M&M's! So, Marcus got his wish. Sometimes, things just work out the way you want them. (Anyone who's read The Secret and knows about the Law of Attraction, might suggest this was more than luck.)
Sunday, December 12, 2010
The Rusty Church
Since we've moved, going to our church is a 45 minute drive away. Not something I'm always up for. So, for the past two weeks we tried out two local churches. The last one was so bad we (my two little one's and I) left 20 minutes into the service.
It was one of those times. You know, the times you realize you make a mistake as soon as you arrive, but you can't do anything about it?
As soon as we sat down, a woman came over to us, put her hand on my shoulder, and said with such glee, "Welcome! Where are you from? It's so good to have you here today." The desperation in her voice was my first red flag. Then, the service started and both pastors were 85 years-old if they were a day! One stood there holding the Bible, his hands shaking as badly as his voice. The first lesson took ten minutes!
My kids were collapsing with boredom onto my lap and complaining - and after only five minutes! This was not good. I too was bored and by now, my eyes were frantically searching for the exits.
The church had 20 in attendance, all white heads, and it smelled like a sarcophagas that hadn't been opened in two thousand years. Finally, I whispered to Marcus, "Say you have to go to the bathroom." (I figured I'd take them to the bathroom and slip out the door and no one would be the wiser.) "What?" he asked.
"Say that you have to go to the bathroom."
"But I don't have to go to the bathroom!" he yelled. Two white heads turned around. Great, cheers, Marcus, I thought. I waited five more minutes and then said, "Oh sure, honey, let's go to the bathroom," and we left, never to return.
Well, this week we were driving our 45 minutes to church and on the way we pass a decrepid old church that looks like something from the Old South. It's still active but it gives me the willies every time I drive by. I always take the opportunity to thank the Lord I don't attend there, every time I drive by. Well, today, Marcus says, "Dadda?" I turn down the music, "Yes, buddy?"
"I never want to go to that old rusty church."
"Ya, me neither. Looks kind of old huh?"
"Yes. Except, no one goes there anymore."
"Well, I think people still do go there."
"No Dadda. Nobody goes there." I think he wanted to drive home the fact that no one attends that church so I wouldn't get it into my head that we should try it out. After all, I subjected him to that other church only a week prior.
"No, son, I suppose no one does."
"Dad, you can turn up the music now."
"Okay, buddy." And we continued our drive. By the way, we had a great inspirational service at our church. Visiting churches sometimes makes you appreciate what you have, doesn't it?
It was one of those times. You know, the times you realize you make a mistake as soon as you arrive, but you can't do anything about it?
As soon as we sat down, a woman came over to us, put her hand on my shoulder, and said with such glee, "Welcome! Where are you from? It's so good to have you here today." The desperation in her voice was my first red flag. Then, the service started and both pastors were 85 years-old if they were a day! One stood there holding the Bible, his hands shaking as badly as his voice. The first lesson took ten minutes!
My kids were collapsing with boredom onto my lap and complaining - and after only five minutes! This was not good. I too was bored and by now, my eyes were frantically searching for the exits.
The church had 20 in attendance, all white heads, and it smelled like a sarcophagas that hadn't been opened in two thousand years. Finally, I whispered to Marcus, "Say you have to go to the bathroom." (I figured I'd take them to the bathroom and slip out the door and no one would be the wiser.) "What?" he asked.
"Say that you have to go to the bathroom."
"But I don't have to go to the bathroom!" he yelled. Two white heads turned around. Great, cheers, Marcus, I thought. I waited five more minutes and then said, "Oh sure, honey, let's go to the bathroom," and we left, never to return.
Well, this week we were driving our 45 minutes to church and on the way we pass a decrepid old church that looks like something from the Old South. It's still active but it gives me the willies every time I drive by. I always take the opportunity to thank the Lord I don't attend there, every time I drive by. Well, today, Marcus says, "Dadda?" I turn down the music, "Yes, buddy?"
"I never want to go to that old rusty church."
"Ya, me neither. Looks kind of old huh?"
"Yes. Except, no one goes there anymore."
"Well, I think people still do go there."
"No Dadda. Nobody goes there." I think he wanted to drive home the fact that no one attends that church so I wouldn't get it into my head that we should try it out. After all, I subjected him to that other church only a week prior.
"No, son, I suppose no one does."
"Dad, you can turn up the music now."
"Okay, buddy." And we continued our drive. By the way, we had a great inspirational service at our church. Visiting churches sometimes makes you appreciate what you have, doesn't it?
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